Matt McAvoy Book Review

Absolutely heartbreaking, this candid, warts-and-all journal from Sherry, about living with a husband she clearly still adores after more than half a century, despite his rapidly progressing dementia.  She has poured her whole being into this project for months, if not several years – I know how hard she has worked and how much it has meant to her, because I have helped a little with feedback in the beta stage – so there’s a little disclosure from myself; be assured, though, it has no bearing on my honest review of the book. 

Sherry has effectively divided the book into two halves: BD (before diagnosis)) and AD (after diagnosis), and the contrast in their lives now and then are clear for all to see.  Sherry is clearly trying her best to hold onto the man she knows Mike still is inside, and it is devastating to behold – be advised, this is not an easy book to read, and it does have some very raw and upsetting themes: dementia, loss of a child, suicide, among others.  One might look at Sherry and Mike’s life and think it was charmed to a point, but they both worked incredibly hard for any success they might have enjoyed, and have been continually – let’s be honest – given a pretty raw deal by fate.  The second half of the book is a slog, and in my opinion, perhaps goes into a little too much minutiae – but of course, that’s the whole point: Sherry imparts the hopelessness and repetitiveness of the condition, and how hard she has to work for the smallest rewards, yet she is inspirational in her dedication to Mike and her mission to seek out those small treasures, and keep hold of the fire in their marriage. 

It isn’t all depressing; some of it is very humorous, and there is a lot of love and hope.  It is a perfect tool for those living in a similar situation – of which there are millions – and I strongly recommend it to those readers.  Likewise, anybody who wants to know more about the subject will also benefit; I certainly did, yet for the time being I have no close relatives afflicted (touch wood).  Additionally, and this is important for the book, Sherry has done a lot of homework on the subject, and delivers the academia with wisdom and impartiality, although it is clear to see that she has her own theories about the disease, and the factors which have contributed to its onset and progression in Mike’s case.  Her research is shared articulately and intelligently, by her characteristically excellent writing, making her book not just a journal, but a markedly credible study and thesis, with the benefit (and apologies for the inappropriateness of that word) of first-hand, day-to-day lived experience.  It is a serious book for a very serious subject, and regardless of any professional qualifications or expertise, Sherry is now an absolute authority on the subject.  Very highly recommended, but be ready to explore every emotion you have; it’s the least the author deserves.